To the Woman

This page is dedicated to women. This page will be written by and managed by my wife, referred to R&R's wife. There is a terrible lack of teaching, training and mentoring in the church today for women that is Scriptural. There is very little in the way to teach women to be modest and lady-like these days. Where does a little girl get her values and example of what is feminine from these days? The media, of course. Where does her mother get her influence and ideas on how to act, dress and behave? The media. You might say, that your church has some good courses to mentor girls. To this I say great. However, the fruit speaks for itself. I see women who go by the name Christian, dressing like the world, talking like the world and being just like the world. I see women being more aggressive, being more assertive, and in consequence pushing the neutered man out of the way and taking charge of that which God ordained as man's responsibility. This is wrong and God will not bless this, in fact He will judge it as an abomination and rebellion against His law. This page will go into the origins of feminism, makeup, dress and where your money is going to support the manufacturers of these items that women use so frequently.  Hope this page encourages, challenges and changes. For as I said before in another post, we have enough Salomes to fill hell to eternity.

Women, you have a responsibility before God to fashion yourselves after the virtuous women seen in Proverbs. When we totally submit to God we will desire to become that virtuous woman. It is only in fulfilling God's guidelines for a woman that we will be fulfilled.
Women, you are also responsible for the sin you may cause another through your sensual manner and dress. As a woman of God you have the responsibility to conduct yourselves in  manner, deed and dress to that which glorifies God.
Ask yourself: Do I dress in a manner that exposes and accentuates that which is reserved for my husband? Do I exhibit a lack of purity whether it be by my dress, mannerisms or speech? Am I an example to my children of a virtuous woman? Have I kept my testimony in Christ pure? Am I trying to adorn myself with the latest fashion trends? Am I following after the worlds vanity in the way I promote my physical body?
Women we must thoroughly examine our hearts and bring ourselves in line with God's Word as it outlines the virtues of a godly woman. Our countenance must shine with the beauty of our purity in Christ and virtue within. As our Lord Jesus Christ is coming back for His bride so must we keep ourselves for our husband.
Choose today.You can either  follow after God's plan for your life as a woman  in developing the inward beauty that comes from total submission to God or you can choose to follow after the world and all their sensual lusts of the flesh that only leads to destruction.
Choose to be a godly woman. Choose to be an example to your children of a virtuous woman. Choose to abhor the sensuality that the world promotes.
Written by R & R's wife.
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July 28th, 2010
Posted by R&R's Wife
This is an amazing article done by Brother Michael over at Def.Con. Here is an excerpt, to read the full article please click HERE
In light of Pilgrim’s post on the quote from Jeremy Sonnier about swimwear I feel it a good time to add a post on this subject as it is something very near and dear to my heart.  It also is timely as a few weeks back I completed reading a booklet on Christian Modesty and swimwear.  I was hoping to do a formal study on this subject, but right now I have too many irons in the fire.  And so I will share some thoughts and then present the reader with this wonderful albeit challenging booklet.  Something I pray you will study on your own, prayerfully consider and then share far and wide with the Christian community who are in desperate need of such a teaching.  A teaching that few men who call themselves shepherds of God’s flock will touch with a ten foot pole…
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August 2, 2010
Posted by R&R's Wife
To Download a terrific sermon by Albert Martin click the link below.
Validating the Gospel in Modesty
At the 40:45 mark, Pastor Martin does something startling with his congregation. Although he “sticks his neck out,” I think it was very effective at driving home his point.
We need more of these men teaching and proclaiming the truth from the pulpits disregarding the consequences of those who might get offended.
To download the PDF article of this sermon click Validating The Gospel In Modesty

Source: Def.Con.
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Posted by R&R's wife August 7, 2010
“For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
– 1 Peter 3:5-6 NIV
John Wesley’s Explanatory Notes say this concerning this verse:
The adorning of those holy women, who trusted in God, and therefore did not act thus from servile fear, was,
  1. Their meek subjection to their husbands:
  2. Their quiet spirit, “not afraid,” or amazed: and
  3. Their unblamable behaviour, “doing” all things “well.”
“What’s the most important thing you do, Joni?” It was a press conference in Poland made up mostly of Christian interviewers. My mind sorted through a list of possible answers: speaking, painting, advocating, visiting people in nursing homes, delivering wheelchairs to Africa and so on.
I knew the answer. “Being a good wife to my husband.” The group of reporters chuckled. I imagined their thoughts: Surely she’s ingratiating herself. They had forgotten Ken was seated in the back of the room. I hadn’t. I am always conscious of where he is. For one thing, my disability requires it. I enjoy giving to him, too. If his ego gets bruised from someone calling him Mr. Eareckson, Ken looks to me. If he’s in a quandry as to how to counsel one of his students, he’ll seek my advice. And if Ken just wants to kick back and goof off, I’m the audience for his antics.
When I stand before Jesus, I will be judged first for my faithfulness in my marriage. My commitment to marriage vows places me in a profoundly significant relationship with the most important human being on earth. My spouse. If I can’t be faithful in loving my husband, how can I tout faithfulness in ministry to millions?
We might pull the wool over the eyes of those who stand at a distance, but the one with whom we live sees every flaw, as well as every bit of tooth-pulling love. When it comes to judging the real you, your spouse is about as close as you come to Jesus. Try this: Ask your spouse to help you be a better partner, by pinpointing a few faults. Bite your tongue, pray hard, and then follow through.
Blessings,
Joni and Friends
www.joniandfriends.org
Taken from More Precious Than Silver. Copyright © 1998 by Joni Eareckson Tada.  Used by permission.  Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

I want to be beautiful… I want to be submissive...

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The Snare of Beauty — Flashpoints of Our Obsession with Attractiveness

According to the Bible, every single human being is made in the image of God, and is thus, for this reason alone, truly beautiful. Truth wins over “enhancements,” and true beauty resides within an individual’s character. The Bible straightforwardly condemns the human quest for physical beauty as vanity.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Beauty, says philosopher Roger Scruton, “is never viewed with indifference.” Those words come to mind in light of a major article in this week’s Newsweek magazine that purports to document the fact that employers show a marked preference for attractive people in making hiring decisions. Add to that article a recent news report on a new sperm bank dedicated to the reproduction of “beautiful people.”
The Newsweek article, written by Jessica Bennett, begins by documenting what economists measure as the financial benefits of physical attractiveness. The “beauty premium” adds 5 percent to the lifetime earnings of attractive men, and 4 percent to the lifetime earnings of women. Economist Daniel Hamermesh argues that an attractive man earns an average of $250,000 of “beauty premium” income over his “least-attractive counterpart.”
The magazine surveyed more than 200 corporate hiring managers and almost 1000 members of the public and confirmed that “from hiring to office politics to promotions, even, looking good is no longer something we can dismiss as frivolous or vain.”
The mostly-male hiring officers also said (by 61 percent) that it would be advisable for a woman seeking a job to wear clothing to the interview that would show off her figure. No kidding. The managers even ranked physical attractiveness third on their list of criteria for hiring — above education.
A New York-based recruiter consulted by the magazine asserted that, in this job market: “It’s better to be average and good looking than brilliant and unattractive.”  Women, it is argued, face an even more complicated equation than men. Attractive women have an advantage over less attractive women in hiring for low-level positions. But when it comes to high-level executive positions, attractive women face added questions about their qualifications.
Plastic surgery is the answer for many. As Jessica Bennett reports, “We are a culture more sexualized than ever . . . with technology that’s made it easier to ‘better’ ourselves, warping our standards for what’s normal.” With plastic surgery and “enhancement” procedures becoming routine, a beauty arms race results, and those who are in competition find themselves “running to stand still.” Cosmetic surgery, Botox, and an array of technologies and product lines compete for an expanding market of people running hard in the race to stay or get ahead...to continue click HERE
Source: AlbertMohler.com
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To Download a terrific sermon by Albert Martin click the link below.
Validating the Gospel in Modesty
At the 40:45 mark, Pastor Martin does something startling with his congregation. Although he “sticks his neck out,” I think it was very effective at driving home his point.
We need more of these men teaching and proclaiming the truth from the pulpits disregarding the consequences of those who might get offended.
To download the PDF article of this sermon click Validating The Gospel In Modesty

Source: Def.Con.
Here are some good websites and blogs where godly women can go for fellowship, direction and encouragement. Please click on the desired link...
The Berean Wife
Hope in Laodicia
Ladies Against Feminism
Maidens of Worth
Standing for Truth
Your Sacred Calling
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October 20, 2010
By R&R's wife
This is a two page article by Char Washer, Paul's wife on Becoming Esther. To download this article in PDF, click BecomingEster by CharoWasher
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October 22, 2010
Timeless Truth For God's Daughters
This PDF article is brought to you by Jeff Lyle via SermonAudio
To download this article, click Timeless Truth For God’s Daughters
To listen to this sermon, click HERE
To download this on MP3, click HERE
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November 3, 2010
Posted by R&R's Wife

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If Only —-
If only dinner cooked itself,
And groceries grew upon the shelf;
If children did as they were told,
And never had a cough or cold;
And washed their hands, and wiped their boots,
And never tore their Sunday suits,
But always tidied up the floor,
Nor once forgot to shut the door.
…
Ahem! If wishes all came true,
I don’t know what I’d find to do,
Because if no one made a mess
There’d be no need of cleanliness.
And things might work so blissfully,
In time–who knows?–they’d not need me!
And this being so, I fancy whether
I’ll go on keeping things together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Fay Inchfawn
brought to you by The Berean Wife
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NEVER Underestimate a Mother! This little tidbit is brought to you by R&R's Wife. If only we could do this sort of thing to those who want to hurt OUR babies! Click Never Underestimate a Mother to download.
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November 26, 2010
What has happened to Femininity? This article discusses the dangers of the disappearing of godly femininity. To download, click Femininity
The Scriptures Decree Modesty in Dress. This article discusses the Scriptural requirments for modesty, the differences between males and females and what it means to be feminine. To download, click Modesty
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December 14, 2010
This is an excellent E-book called instructions-to-wives-mothers-and-their-husbands.
This excellent E-book called division and diversion
Both Books are written by Gil Rugh
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Jan 13, 2011

Modest Links

This post was originally published on The Cross Is All, we took out some broken links and some links that we at Revivalandreformation felt that even though, the clothing attire was modest, the people wearing them were exuding an air of seduction or arrogance in some fashion. Modesty is more than clothing, it also stems from the heart. A woman can be dressed in modest clothes, but her heart can be rancid with the spirit of Jezebel.
This post will be added to our Women's Page as well. You will be able to find the links there.
It is almost impossible to find modest clothing. With that in mind, I searched for, and found, these sites. Some offer patterns and fabric, some aprons, some ready-made clothing, some are shops that will sew for you...etc.

Amelia’s Aprons HTTP://AMELIASAPRONS.COM/
Bellissima! Modesty Boutique  HTTP://MODESTYBOUTIQUEONLINE.COM/
Biblical Garden Clothing Collection HTTP://WWW.BIBLICALGARDEN.COM/
Common Sense Designs Patterns HTTP://WWW.COMMONSENSEPATTERNS.COM/
DCM Apparel~Where Fashion Meets Modesty HTTP://WWW.DCMAPPAREL.COM/
Grandma’s House HTTP://WWW.GRANDMASHOUSE.WS/
Handmaid of the Lord HTTP://UTMOST-WAY.COM/LHM/
Harper House HTTP://WWW.LONGAGO.COM/ Offers vintage sewing patterns for the costumer, the re-enactor and the hopeless romantic~
Homestead Specialties Pattern Company HTTP://WWW.HOMESTEADSPECIALTIES.COM/
Jumpinbloomers.com HTTP://JUMPINBLOOMERS.COM/ (includes modest clothing for boys)
Kate’s Camisoles  HTTP://WWW.KATESCAMISOLES.COM/
Katie’s Mercantile HTTP://WWW.KATIESMERCANTILE.COM/
KosherCasual HTTP://WWW.KOSHERCASUAL.COM/MODERNLYMODEST/Lilies of the Field: Modest and Feminine Apparel HTTP://LILIESAPPAREL.COM/
Macabi Skirt HTTP://MACABISKIRT.COM/ the original adventure travel skirt
Made With Love HTTP://MADEWITHTLC.COM/
Mama’s Dress Shoppe (for expectant mamas)  HTTP://WWW.SEAMSLIKEYESTERDAY.US/
Mennonite Maidens HTTP://MENNONITEMAIDEN.COM/
Modest Clothing by Eshet Chayil HTTP://WWW.MODESTCLOTHINGPA.COM/
Modest Clothing Distributors HTTP://WWW.MODESTCLOTHINGDISTRIBUTORS.COM/
Modest Handmaidens Mercantile (offers some ready-made plus patterns and offers books in the spirit of Titus 2) HTTP://WWW.MODESTHANDMAIDENS.COM/
Modest Seamstress at a Modest Price HTTP://WWW.ANGELFIRE.COM/MO3/SEAMSTRESS/INDEX.HTML
My Culottes.com HTTP://WWW.MYCULOTTES.COM/
New Creation Women’s Apparel HTTP://WWW.NEWCREATIONAPPAREL.COM/
The Paisley Pincushion HTTP://WWW.PAISLEYPINCUSHION.COM/
Practically Pretty by Design HTTP://PRACTICALLYPRETTY.BLOGSPOT.COM/
Ricci (includes plus sizes) HTTP://RICCIAPPAREL.COM/
Seams Like Yesterday HTTP://WWW.SEAMSLIKEYESTERDAY.US/
Sew Fun Patterns.com HTTP://WWW.SEWFUNPATTERNS.COM/
Sewing at AllCrafts.net HTTP://WWW.ALLCRAFTS.NET/SEWING.HTM
Sewing Modest Clothing HTTP://WWW.SEWMODESTCLOTHING.COM/
The Keeping Home Retail Store HTTP://WWW.KEEPING-HOME.COM/STORE/
The King’s Daughters HTTP://WWW.THEKINGSDAUGHTERS.COM/
The Vermont Country Store HTTP://WWW.VERMONTCOUNTRYSTORE.COM/SHOP
The Wooden Soldier HTTP://WOODENSOLDIER.COM/
Tznius HTTP://WWW.TZNIUS.COM/ modest clothing and head coverings
Works Of The Heart HTTP://WORKSOFTHEHEART.COM/
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Great article on Lovely Womanhood.
“The Holiness of God is not evidenced in women when they are brash, brassy, boisterous, brazen, head-strong, strong-willed, loud-mouthed, overly-talkative, having to have the last word, challenging, controlling, manipulative, critical, conceited, arrogant, aggressive, assertive, strident, interruptive, undisciplined, insubordinate, disruptive, dominating, domineering, or clamoring for power. Rather, women accept God’s holy order and character by … Read More
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Checking the Heart
Sisters, if we are to be godly women, we must honor God in all that we do. Our attitudes, our actions, our words, our clothing must be modest. Immodest clothing never adorns a body in which dwells a modest heart; the clothing is simply an outward indicator of who we are on the inside. We have long been asleep and wolves have crept in and destroyed our churches; most are man-centered in their teaching and focus. God’s Word is either outright dishonored or His truth is seen as a pathway to success and fulfillment. It is in this morass that immodesty has become the norm. This must change. There are those who know, those who love God and His Word, those who care about truth; if you are numbered among these, please pray for God to guide you, break you, mold you, teach you so that you might be used by Him to stand for His truth. Help the younger, the more immature, sisters to know the Way in which they must walk if they are to honor God in all.
Meanwhile, here are some questions to ponder:
Is God a part of your life or is He your life?
Do you know His Word? Is His Word important enough to you to study, meditate upon, memorize, obey?
Do you often meet with Him in prayer? Are your prayers more focused on His glory or your needs?
Do you seek to honor God in thought, in word, in deed, in attitude?
Do you seek to bring honor to God or to yourself by your choice of clothing?
Do you dress to bring attention to your body (a sin) or to enhance your femininity (not a sin)?
Does your clothing draw attention to your face (good) or to your body (bad)?
Does the way you dress enhance your femininity?
By the way you dress, are you showing awareness that men are visual and are stimulated by the feminine form? Do you care?
Do you dress in a way that helps, rather than hinders, your brothers in Christ?
Are lost men led by your choice of clothing to lust for you? Or, do they see you as different and wonder what the difference is?
Are you teaching your daughters to not only dress modest but to be modest?
Can you and your daughters attend church without causing men to sin when they look at you?
Are you reaching out to your Christian sisters to help and to guide them in their understanding of modesty?
Does your clothing make you look like every other woman out there? Or, does it say to the world that you are set-apart unto God?
Do you equate modesty with frumpiness? Or, do you understand that one can dress modest and still look nice?
Are you honoring the men in your family by your clothing choices?
If you are a single woman, are you following the leading of your parents?
If you are married, do you seek to honor your husband through your choice of clothing?
Being modest isn’t about being legalistic. Legalism is a sin. So is immodesty. Being modest is about loving God enough to take His Word seriously. Scripture gives us guidelines about dressing modestly. If we truly love God we will heed His instructions. If you don’t know what He says, study it. Get out a concordance or go on-line and look up modest, nakedness, chastity and such. Meanwhile, if you don’t know, study and pray until you do and then, teach. If you do know, study and pray and teach. Many women today have had no one to teach them what God desires in this matter. Maybe you are one whom He will be pleased to use to teach them.
Thank you to Modesty: A Forgotten Virtue for this timely article.
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First I'll Be a Mother

Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there,
Ours boasts it quite openly,
The signs are everywhere.
For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges are on the doors
I should apologize, I guess
For toys strew on the floor.
But I sat down with my child
And we played and laughed and read
And if the doorbell doesn’t shine,
His eyes will shine instead.
For when at times I’m forced to choose
The one job or the other,
I’d like to cook and clean and scrub,
But first I’ll be a mother.
~Poet unknown
Excerpt taken from Joyful Domesticity
The New Women’s Movement:
We’re Coming Home
By Mrs. Wayne E. Hunter  © Copyright 2006 – 2010.  All rights reserved.
You can Change a Woman’s Mind, but not Her Heart
Adultery, pornography, broken homes, domestic abuse, abusive children, poor mental, physical, and emotional health, illness, disease, dysfunctional schools, heart disease now killing one out of two women; these problems plague our families and nation. These things break women’s hearts, literally. They not only break our hearts, but our nation. They are of profound seriousness. Families and nations don’t thrive under these conditions, and despite law after law being passed to try to alleviate these problems, they still grow and grow. America, we have hope. The New Women’s Movement holds the key and the cure to these problems. This hope, key, and cure stand to affect us all in more ways than can be imagined. America, your wives and mothers are coming home.
Freedom
Today’s wives and mothers have found their total freedom. Freedom from tyrannical bosses. Freedom from unfair wages and promotions. Freedom from dividing our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls between work and family. We’ve found our freedom by coming home. Here we are truly free: financially, emotionally, and creatively. Our hearts are free to love, free to give, free to be and become who we really are, free to get to know who we really are, and free with our schedules. We manage all of these freedoms with perhaps more skill, professionalism, and resourcefulness than ever and it’s healing us, our families, and our nation...to read more and get the link to the entire article, click HERE
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A Woman's Heart
“A woman’s heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her.”
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A Godly Man...Your Husband To Be

July 14, 2011
As a godly young woman, in your time of preparation for the man God has purposed for you to marry, pray for and keep your eyes open for a man who will…
“Fight the Lord’s battles.”
  • 1 Samuel 18:17.  “…I will give her to you for a wife.  Only be valiant for me and fight the LORD’S battles.”
A man who loves and is devoted to the cause and purpose of God.
  • Matthew 6:10  “Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
A godly covenant man who takes that covenant seriously and walks in obedience.
  • Deuteronomy 28:1-2  “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the LORD your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the LORD your God will set you on high above all the nations of the earth.  And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the LORD your God.”
A man with no desire for his own glory.
  • 2 Corinthians 10:17  “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord”.
  • Romans 11:36  “For from him and through him and to him are all things.  To him be glory forever.  Amen.”
A man with uncommon courage and backbone who loves liberty.
  • Deuteronomy 31:6  “Be strong and courageous.  Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you”.
  • Psalm 31:24  “Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!”
  • James 1:25  “But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”
A man on God’s mission.
  • Luke 12:31  “Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you”.
A visionary who is going places.
  • Habakkuk 2:2  “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.”
A tested, tried and proven man.
  • James 1:12  “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”
  • 2 Timothy 2:15  “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”
A man on pursuit of righteousness.
  • 2 Timothy 2:22  “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
A prayer warrior and Biblical scholar studious in the Word of God.
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:17  “Pray without ceasing.”
  • 2 Timothy 2:15  “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”
  • Psalm 119:11  “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You.”
A man who diligently lives his life under Biblical authority and covering.
  • Deuteronomy 6:17  “You shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies and his statutes, which he has commanded you.”
A man who is an imitator of Christ and an imitator of what is good.
  • Ephesians 5:1  “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.”
  • 3 John 1:11  “Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good.  Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.”
A man with Kingdom agenda whose knee is reserved for the King of kings and the Lord of lords.
  • Romans 14:11  “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.”
  • Ephesians 3:14  “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father.”
  • Luke 19:13  Calling ten of his servants, he gave them ten minas, and said to them, “Engage in business until I come”.
  • Luke 12:31  “Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you”.
A man of godly character and integrity.
  • Proverbs 20:7  “The righteous who walks in his integrity – blessed are his children after him!”
  • Romans 5:3-4  “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”
A man that soweth to the Spirit.
  • Galatians 6:7-8  “Do not be deceived:  God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.  For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
A man with a teachable heart and spirit.
  • Psalm 27:11  “Teach me your way, O LORD, and lead me on a level path…”
  • 2 John 1:9  “Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God.  Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.”
A God fearing man who delights in the commands of the Lord.
  • Psalm 112:1-2  “Praise the Lord!  Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments!  His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.”
  • Deuteronomy 6:5-9  “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
A man who has God at the center of all things.
  • Exodus 20:3  “You shall have no other gods before me”.
  • Psalm 146:1  “Praise the LORD!  Praise the LORD, O my soul!  I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.”
  • 1 Chronicles 16:11  “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek His presence continually!”
A man of faithfulness.
  • Luke 16:10  “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.”
A man with a servant heart.
  • John 13:14  “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.”
  • Psalm 100:2  “Serve the Lord with gladness!  Come before His presence with singing!”
  • Joshua 24:14  “Now therefore, fear the LORD and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness…”
A man who loves God, life and loves you.
  • Matthew 22:37  And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
  • John 13:34-35  “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another:  just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
  • Joshua 23:11  “Be very careful, therefore, to love the LORD your God.”
  • Colossians 3:19  “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
  • 1 Peter 3:10  For “whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit”.
A man whose intentions are pure.
  • 1 Peter 1:22  “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.”
  • Philippians 4:8  “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
A man of equal yoking.
  • 2 Corinthians 6:14  “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?  Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
A man who recognizes the high office of womanhood and motherhood.
  • Proverbs 31
A man who will love you and cherish you as Christ loves the church.
  • Ephesians 5:25; 28; 33
  • v25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
  • v28 “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.”
  • v33 “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
A man who needs and wants your help.
  • Genesis 2:18  Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
  • 1 Corinthians 11:8-9  “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man.  Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”
A provider.
  • 1 Timothy 5:8  “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
A man who will honor you and who lives with you in an understanding way.
  • 1 Peter 3:7  “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
A man who will take up the role of headship in the home.
  • Ephesians 5:23  ”For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
A man who will seek and take counsel.
  • Proverbs 15:22  “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
  • Proverbs 11:14  “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
A man of lowly spirit who lays down his life.
  • Proverbs 29:23  “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.”
  • Colossians 3:3  “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”
A family man who will be a leader and will lead you and your children sacrificially.
  • Genesis 1:28  And God blessed them.  And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
A man who will rule his future house well.
  • 1 Timothy 3:4  “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive.”
A man who is skilled.
  • 2 Chronicles 2:7  “So now send me a man skilled to work in gold, silver, bronze, and iron, and in purple, crimson, and blue fabrics, trained also in engraving to be with the skilled workers who are with me in Judah and Jerusalem, whom David my father provided.”
A man who is forgiving.
  • Matthew 6:14  “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
  • Colossians 3:13  “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
  • Luke 6:37  “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
A man who commits his ways to the Lord.
  • Psalm 37:5  “Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.”
A man who is self-controlled.
  • Proverbs 25:28  “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
A man with a giving heart.
  • 2 Corinthians 9:7  “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
  • Luke 6:38  “Give, and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.”
A man who won’t prematurely awaken love until it’s evident that God’s purpose is to make you one flesh.
  • Genesis 2:24  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Copyright to Michele O’Donovan 2011
www.hisheartbeatforwomen.com
This article can be used on your website as long as you link back to His Heartbeat For Women.
Personalize your list here and use it as a prayer guide for your husband-to-be…

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Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”
She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”
Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.

A Rock-Bottom Job?

The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

It's Not a Hobby

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.
Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.

Run to the Cross

But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.
Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.
The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.

The Question Is How

The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?
It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.
Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.

Hands Full of Good Things

When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.
Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone.
Rachel Jankovic

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